Macaulay’s twins and their itch

There are some people who would like to lick reality like what happened a century back when many nationalists were fighting the foreigners these people were busy licking the boots. They got their due. Amulya ganguli is one of them. Now he is here to give us lessons on reality (Out of touch with reality, Deccan Herald). Well when one is on the lap of marketeers it difficult not to grasp reality!!. Realities of profit!!!. Unrealities of degrading occupations and underemployment are easy to miss. Sensibility and socio-historic context is causality. Mr. Avijit Pathak sometime back wrote a very pertinent article wherein he pointed out the superficialities of occupations the youngsters are nowadays choosing and alienating social and personal being. For some that sounds like Marxism. So be it. At this juncture let me point out that one has no qualm in accepting a fact that Karl Marx was a brilliant and undoubtedly one of the most influential thinker. That offcourse is not true for his followers (well followers can only be followers). Whether its Communists or Marketeers the elites are no different. The Macaulay’s twins. The difference is in social positioning. The idea is to capture any space left by Marketeers and presto social concern is a sure shot way to maintain one’s position and nothing convenient than being a comrade. In elite circle and in its opulence it gives a rebelish flavor. They come from same milieu with shared interest in nuances of English, cricket or other elitist occupations. They squat the strategic positions and transfer it to their progenies. All the discussions, columns, interviews and so on… are about scoring points on each other. We are mere audiences who are just incidental in the process. If outsiders are smart enough to intrude, as through grassroot politics or simple hard work in any field they will conspire to take the maximum benefit. Then the outsider becomes one among them and then they celebrate. It’s no wonder that nepotism and corruption is normal happenings. Thus they remain floating in the public space. As also in an immensely advantageous position to capitalize on any new opportunity. Its not surprising that they now control or have influence in Media. Marketeers and communists elites are different sides of the same coin, they feed on the common people and their aspirations. They are here to consolidate their position. Whereas communists leaders seems to be fighting for impoverished and marginalized and lately secularism, the intentions are dubious. It’s all a sham to capture power. As with any system they have degenerated into self-serving coterie. They are definitely not different from any other political group. At grassroot level they morph into goondaism. It’s not surprising that universally acknowledged scoundrel Karunakaran (taking an example from kerala) is natural ally, to save secularism. Incidentally his party DIC(K) is quite an appropriate acronym. What a hogwash. Communists vote bank are mostly organized sector workers which incidentally is only 7% of the total workforce but as numbers, formidable vote bank. It is not denying that strikes are important aspect of functional democracy. It reflects the vibrancy and means of protest for people but that is not the reason for few people to take the society on ransom. Strikes and bandhs have given untold misery to common people. I myself have faced serious problems due to bandhs (many a times stranded without food or spend hours in crowded buses and end up walking long dictances) this is true for millions of people in this country. There is always a thin line separating protest and anti-social activity, mostly it slips into goondaism. Nowhere we hear any political leader of any party (who claim to be for the people) asking its cadre not make misery for common people. Infact they celebrate the “success” of “total bandh”. The unorganized sector, the daily wage earners are the one seriously affected. Who is responsible for this misery?. The recent Supreme Court verdict on political parties made to pay for bandh loss is a welcome step. This is about grass root functioning of political parties. At the elite level too comrades are big joke, like any other “senior” politicians of any other political party their aim is to maintain their power center. As for intellectuals, all kind of dubious people have gate crashed. Compared to other political parties this is an easy route for “social concerned” glitterati to squat positions and keep floating, so cat walking morons can have the audacity to claim into NCW, all part of kaifiyath I guess. As for me I am not for or against catwalks and other related crap, people have right to do what they deem right but I have, like most people all around the world, other existential issues to deal with. However I am very concerned when these superficials claim stake on significant position wherein people involved in grassroots need be appreciated. Then there are some big time “left leaning” intellectuals one Mr. Ram of The Hindu is a good example. This fellow is a regret. He is where he is that is running the shop of The Hindu & other publications, because of traditional reason. The fellow is so insecure that even the editorial board is about family. One wouldn’t mind much if people were competent. But this fellow (that is respected Mr. Ram, the presiding deity) is so incompetent to even be a clerk!!!. You see its like this if you want to be clerk one has to go through entrance exams in here one is to tackle a subject referred to as “general knowledge”. So if one doesn’t even know what CBI stands for then he is out. So intellectuals like Mr. Ram are even incompetent to be clerk. As a columnists his views whether on global warming or NPT is stupid and pedestarian. As an editor his cronies suffer from a didactic proclivities of saving the world for us common people wherein not very strangely it’s a marketing strategy, that slips to the market demands at any opportune moment. Since they have this hallo of “concern for people”. Mr. Ram sometimes sneak into leftist meetings and proclaims himself as such. This if you analyse is a cheap gimmick to increase readership. It is a symbiotic relation with elite comrades. Such a farce for our sake. Referring to his editorial skills …well it is better left not said. Like his twin marketeers he too suffer from elitist afflictions of English language and cricket (the romanticized version). So when there are pressing problems or issues to report, BCCI becomes top news!!!. They also have this unique legacy that comes as a column titled “London Diary” (London???. Diary???). Another one a droopy eyed retired babu (moron goes by the Bhaskar Ghose) instructs us that if we don’t get our English phrases right we may become laughing stock!!!. And who gave this….theri *&*%$#$@# (this is the least diplomatic I can get)… to laugh on others. I am more concerned about how much damage this babu has done as a bureaucrat. No wonder this nation is nowhere in world scene, such pathetics. Probably it’s all part of hilarity and so anyone can interview Mr.Adoor and we have no option but to read. Mr. Ram also misuses his position (which he is occupying, lets remind ourselves again, for traditional reasons and nothing to do with competence) to settle scores. So Mr. Chidambaram’s wife’s issue (not very significant) becomes a top story for not one but three days!!!. Such commitments!!. So when Swamy squeaks Ram punches….on the keyboard off course. The “left leaning” is only for market and “social concern” is only a strategy, actually we all know this but too subtle to mention, the reason why humility is such a favored behavior here. It is least threatening for elites. As a newspaper The Hindu is a failure infact it is case study on what a newspaper shouldn’t be. Except for few brilliant columnists it is a disaster. I still wonder why these columnists contribute to this newspaper only…well maybe they have fallen for this “social concern” marketing strategy. Why not they too like say Jean dreze or Brinda karat give their articles to newspaper with more circulations?. I guess more people will be aware of what P.Sainth writes if it is published in something that is more widely read. I think the columnists at least the better ones need to think on that line. They also need create their own website for us common people to access than through these powerbrokers. In this increasingly crass world no newspaper is better or worse than others. We have to tolerate each of them as we tolerate each TV channel. The marketeers and comrade (intellectual or not) are no different from each other they are here to market position and maximize. So when dealing with them its quite appropriate that any individual should look for the best deal. It’s as crass as that. Most people generally fall for “I am going to be in TV or news” excitement and so on wherein the media will only show what can sells or increase their viewer ship. I am looking forward to a day when no one allows himself or herself to be misused by these honchos running the show for our sake. Everyone who is interviewed or even shown on TV should ask for the profit cut. You make money. We make too. Like some ghisa pitta hindi movie Macaulay’s twins were lost in some mela now it seems the globalised world has brought them together. It’s a happy reunion in the elite circle….it’s a nudge and wink world. From these sanitized world emerge gems like Amulya Ganguli. The column of Avijit Pathak reminded him of good old days of 1940s. Yes the time when many people were struggling in deep poverty and some who were well off sacrificed everything to fight the foreign occupation. But during this period there were also people who were bootlicking the Britishers. Britishers left and they were replaced by set of elite (except for few many were out of touch with reality) and bootlickers were in advantageous position. We have almost the same situation now that is the reason why the article by Mr. Pathak is very significant. It opens our eyes to the kind of morass we are slipping into. In most organizations competence is not the only reason why people are selected, the deciding factors are sometimes entirely different from what is within the parameters of the job. Take the recent controversy in Indian cricket or BCCI do you think it has anything to do with talents or competence?. (I suggest Mr. Chappel should quit. He shouldn’t degrade himself. I am sure he knows by now what this country is all about. Another option would be to join them, play politics, nudge and wink….generally have a nice time. If team fails then we can have oft quoted “it’s a learning experience”. In the meantime we can break as records a possible.) At the lower end jobs even humans becomes insignificant, it’s about whether one has bike or contacts for jobs like say salesperson. Having worked as a salesperson for sometime I now the inside out of this profession. People who squat the position of significance in any organization don’t have to go through such experience even if they do its part of “on-field training” lasting maybe a month or two. It’s not make or break system for them. It’s not about going without food or worrying about what will happen to them if they do not succeed as is the case of most salespersons or people at the lower end jobs, like call centers. This is not a post liberalization phenomenon as is being assumed. Its been happening for ages now it has become acute. Human’s basic need is to survive first so such jobs find takers and most of the time becomes acute necessity. And the more the time one spends here, the more one is trapped and later habituated and so one gives up the futility of trying something else. This is true for any degrading profession whether prostitution or door-to-door selling. But that is not the reason why it should be celebrated (and particularly by people like gangulis of the world). There is offcourse a tragedy here, of alienation from ones being and ones entity as a human….this might sound like Marx, well I am proud if it does. Nothing is more satisfying than being compared with spectacular humans. Definitely it also provides an opportunity for dements to classify and then denigrate, that is the shortest way to be market savvy. However these are not vomit from sanitized theorized world of Macaulay’s twins and their happy family values, these are part of hardcore experience. Further I would have joined any of these call centers if it were existent few years back or any other “menial” jobs. And yes I would have worked in such places however degrading it might seem. Like millions of people in this country or anywhere I would have queued up to get any kind of job or means of employment. I too would pay money to dubious agencies and be cheated to go to gulf, incidentally a heaven for unemployed. I too wouldn’t mind to be a cheap tour guide or cook in some sleaze pit. Offcourse its my ingenuity if I learn to enjoy or create a system for pleasant experience, unlike romanticized version of these jobs, the reality is tough. Life is tough that doesn’t mean one will stop hoping for a change. People live in appalling surroundings and demeaning situations because they carry hope. Hope for better future however unreal it may seem. They look forward to “altering” their situation. In this context when one mentions, “altering the world” one is more concerned about self and off course the surroundings with which it is linked. When surroundings are byproduct of something more sinister, deeply entrenched bias then it is time to question that. People like Amulya Gangulis of the world will never face the insecurities of working in these “menial” positions where performances can detach oneself from any achievement except maybe an acknowledgement of living and life. This is the kind of world where I would not like to enter if given an option nor will I invite anyone. But for millions there is a world that really is optionless and one is never invited but pushed, some end up calling it fate. It’s a surreal world of loosing self (that is if one has sanctity of one’s own self). It’s a world of cannibalism masking as competitiveness, of ever-increasing greed of the employer. And yes profit does increase. Investment does doubles. Boss is happy. But that is not necessarily translated into people being happy. Here I am not talking about the upwardly mobile middle class who some how try to break into happy family of Macaulay’s twins indulgent lifestyle, I am here referring to millions of workers in unorganized sector who may not form vote bank. This world has to be altered and I for one will definitely do everything to “alter this world”. Thanx Marx. Thanx Kafka. Yes true it is a hippie life. Yes true. Anyway what is the difference in hairstyle of a beggar and a punk in las Vegas or the clothings of vagabond and FTV trash walk?. Yes it’s a bohemian life. Yes taking up degrading work is an in-thing. Yes it’s the new flavor for us. So is lining up for job one knows one will not get is great fun. Good timepass. Yes I too will work in any goddamn place and do any “menial” job. But that doesn’t mean I will start appreciating the job or the system that propagate these. For the simple reason like most humans I too have the basic intelligence to realize that I am being used. It gives me money but doesn’t use my potential to any meaningful way nor do I have anything to look forward to as future. It doesn’t assure me security. I am always at the mercy someone else. I slowly loose control over my self and is reduced to an object, a manual labor, a bull, a cog for some higher purpose. As the former CEO of GE said in HARDtalk BBC yesterday “…successful company create more successful people and so create a successful environment and they return the success to society….success is a habit…”. The problem is his idea of success is only about profit!!. Asked about global warming or other social context, he had only words of contempt. We cannot blame intellectually challenged Bush if he take such appalling stands on Environment issues, poor fellow is surrounded by such appalling people, who feed him tales of "success". What these people want are slaves. Efficient slaves. More efficient more success. Off course slave should never ask questions. Because the kind of question they ask will be difficult to answer. The questions will jolt the Macaulay’s twins......

Why are you my employer?
How is that you are running this business?
Who gave you the right to decide on my competence?

Those were only few samples. So you see “inner calling” can really be a dangerous thing in the increasingly “free world”. It could jolt the foundation of elites, who have distributed and spread themselves into every opportune position to help us. They are here to save us in the end fattening themselves (not surprisingly they spend major part of their life shedding this fat). That’s a happy ending!!. IT has provided incredible opportunity to alter our world. Many spectacular people are running these businesses and are role model for others purely because of their talents and humanness but it seems to have reached saturation. We will have to definitely do everything to “alter this world”. This world being perfected for maximum profit. This world doomed for profit. Maketeers, profit makers, share brokers….will be unhappy. Boss will be unhappy. But I will be happy so will be millions of people. And that is majority. That is future.

Nuclear Nations cannot play God

Neo cons in USA may believe (and try make us believe) that we have God in White house but the fact is he has miserably failed the people of the country to even do normal duties as thousands of people were left stranded in the aftermath of the cyclone. So now they are supposed to pray, officially!! Amen to that!! The same is true when the “developed” countries try playing God to other Nation and its people. Non Proliferation Treaty (NPT) is likewise meant to protect the ordinary mortals around the world from whatever threat, the devil. The condition is we give them the Power to protect us (Its rather funny asking for something we don’t have!!). Thank god North Korea has buckled (hold on…today they are saying they want “civilian” nuclear reactor!!). Thank god Bomb Khan is grounded. Now we are safe it seems. Are we?. Off course not.

NPT is and will always remain biased. What gives the Nuclear states the right to dictate terms on others when they themselves are a threat?. Unless and until the nuclear bombs are banned the threat will remain. There is an argument that nuclear bombs are deterrents. The example that is oft quoted in this context is sharp drop in wars or people dying in war since the use of nuclear bombs. However the context of choosing Hiroshima and Nagasaki to experiment these bombs is itself questioned but that is a different story. It is also not true that full-scale wars of the size of “World wars” can never happen. For the simple reason that “world wars” has never happened!!. What is taught in history is a farce since these so called world wars were fought in northern hemisphere and so didn’t involve majority of humanity. The West lives in the world of self-importance. They like to define everything from their worldview. The “world” here is Europe and America. People in other part of the world are therefore waiting to be discovered. So Columbus although wanted to “discover” India, poor fellow lost his way and “discovered” some other place they still call them Indians!!!. The Second World War did involve Japan but that still is short of “world”. Yes it true that last six decades or so the nuclear states have not gone into war. Agreed. But they did use other nations to carry their proxy war. They called it cold war but the people in many of these unfortunate nations used as pawns suffered immensely. “Terrorists” in Afghanistan or Iraq are only showing what was given to them. So who is responsible?. It was assumed that nuclear bombs would give protection to the people in USA or Britain from outside threat. That has been proven wrong. But yes they are not threatened by any nation state. However a threat is a threat and sometimes it is because of the policy these “developed” nations pursue which can be seen as threat to other countries. So are we arguing that all nation should have nuclear bombs to protect its citizens from what it perceives as a threat?. Although it is logical, we cannot support such a argument for the simple reason it will make world more unsafe. The argument here is why is that some countries have exclusive right to nuclear bombs?. Who gave them this divine right?. Yes its true that proliferation of technology can be used by some regime to create nuclear bomb the reason why NPT is an important treaty. But what makes one assume that nuclear nations cannot misuse their power. Some claim that they are “responsible” states. History as well as contemporary happenings has taught us how Machiavellian and self-serving the policies of “developed” nations can be. “Responsibility” is not restricted to idea of proliferation only, it also means they don’t misuse this power. “Responsibility” also means that the advantages of the nuclear energy be given to all. Not doing these will be being irresponsible. For the same reason Iran or any country has right to tap the nuclear energy for its domestic purpose. Every nation has a responsibility to its people. To provide basic necessity, comfort and opportunity to grow to their potential. Globally the demand of electricity is much more than supply (nearly 7-8%). This is bound to increase since the per capita consumption of poorer nation is very low. Very soon as non-renewable source of energy gets depleted (and becomes inaccessible to many) these demands will only grow urgent and stronger. These have to be addressed. The problem, which concerns us is that, these technologies being dangerous can fall into wrong hand and become a threat to world (assuming that the Nuclear five (N-5) are not a threat!!). So is this immediate need for renewable source of energy by vast population of the world in loggerhead with security issues of the world. Yes it is. Nuclear technology can definitely be misused to make bomb and take the world on ransom. It is very much conceivable. So what do we do?. The only way out could be to create a mechanism to transfer the nuclear energy rather than the technology. A centralised nuclear reactor (a hub) can be built in a region to cover a group of countries. This need be controlled by international agency like IAEA. The revenue earned could go to UN thus strengthening the organisation further. Thus a “responsible” way of energy transfer is possible. There is also a need to focus attention on creating efficient energy storing devices. If these are not done as early as possible then the legitimate claims of countries around the world for nuclear technology will only increase. USA is nobody to “grant” technology for “peaceful” purpose to India. Nor is India “very special” to acquire these technology were others cannot. This is hypocrisy. In the contemporary world non-polluting and renewable source of energy is what people want and Iranians are definitely no different. Nobody can deny any people the benefits of technology. The advantages of technology have to be shared. Inventions and discoveries are done for the benefit of humanity and therefore cannot be restricted on the basis of geography. There is a saying in Arabic mauth a alim mauth a alam meaning death of a scientist is death of an epoch. Scientists and technologists are citizens of the globalised world. They have a responsible towards society in that to make the advantages accessible to people. People of Iran have all the right to enjoy their life in all its comfort as anyone in New York or Dublin or pyongyang

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No Karunakaran shouldn’t be spared. Another scoundrel who was involved- Jayaram Padikkal, rose to be the DGP of Kerala. He is dead now, hopefully in hell (if their is one). Another one Pullikodan Narayanan also rose to senior position thanks to godfather Karunakaran. No this scoundrel is not forgiven. He has played with "democracy" too much-thanks to incompetent judiciary (tell me how many people were arrested for atrocities of Emergency??). Time to kick him out, ideally he and his perpetrators should be in jail…but that is ideally….there are many who were/are in senior positions, involved in atrocities of Emergency. Nothing is forgotten. The pliable judiciary, politicians involved, the police, all will say- nothing has happened. That is what they say when people are massacred whether in Gujarat or Delhi. Yes “Nothing happened”. Precisely what they said when they eliminated the plantation workers en masse in that banana republic in Amelio Brendia’s Mocando of magic realism (One Hundred Years of Solitude, Marquez)

Kakkayam Camp Kadhaparayannu (by Appukuttan Vallikunnu) is a description on the Rajan case. Another book is Memories of a Father by Prof. T.V. Eachira Varier, who is the father of Rajan. If you seen this brilliant debut malayalam movie Piravi (The birth-1988) of Shaji.N.Karun, there is this unforgettable role played by Premji (who won a National Award for that) which is based on Mr. Varier.

These excerpts from the book Memories of a Father…..


I came to know that Rajan yielded himself silently to the torture. I have read about people being called to their deaths in Nazi camps. As an officer called out names, others were queuing up, waiting for their turn. They even took care not to call a husband and wife together into death; Hitler knew that the pain of separation and getting lost was more intense than death.

Mr. Paul, the proprietor of the famous spare parts dealer, M/S Popular Automobiles, was an inmate at Kakkayam. His father contacted Mr. Karunakaran, and got him released because he came to know of it very early. Mr. Paul had Rs. 500 on him, and when leaving the camp he gave it to the other boys. After influencing someone, they bought food; up till then they were all starving. Rajan was not able to stand hunger; such a boy would have been burned in its forest fire. His mother could not even feed him a handful of rice before his death. Nor could I offer one to him in funeral rites after his death. That still weighs on me. When I hear him calling “father” in the heavy rain some nights it is the cry of hunger. Thinking that my child is hungry, I too never escape hunger, however much I eat.

“We must be able to face everything; must be able to face all that happened with a balanced mind. Only if you are able to do that will we be able to do our social duties,” Mr. Appukuttan Vallikkunnu consoled me. I understood that. The struggle against such brutalities had to begin with Kakkayam camp after the Emergency. I should not leave the new generation to that wooden bench and the rolling.

I fell silent. There were no signs of the police camp left in the building. The wounds that the thirteen-day-long camp inflicted on the bodies of those youths had not been posted on its walls. But those walls knew Rajan’s sighs and cries. They stood silent and detached, watching the young men writhing with pain. There were cobwebs on those walls. There were termites in those closed windows. I opened one of them, and light entered the room. In which mysterious wilderness is my son’s soul still wandering? I pressed my face against the iron bars. Oh, my son, here is your father…
My path is ending. The rain that lashed all over will thin out soon. I feel blessed that so many were drenched in that rain for me, and along with me. Let me hold this feeling close to my heart as an offering.

Rajan used to sing well. When I wrote that he sang only when his mother asked him, my daughters got angry. They said that Rajan used to sing for them too. He never sang for me. I had no time for his songs. So he might have decided that his father should hear his poorly recorded songs only after his death. Oh Rajan, how sad those songs were that you sang while alive, and which I never heard then. I see in them something that meditates for death. Did you hate life so much, my son?

“You didn’t care for him,” his mother said to me on her deathbed. Then, I had the face of a father who ran around the country like a horse, running through the days meaninglessly. But as time withered day after day in Kakkayam camp, her comment about the helpless father who couldn’t get his son might have been meaningful. I still have tears in my eyes to weep. This body still has weak throbs of life. So please, my dear ones, pardon this cursed father if I have pained you all.


I shall stop. The rain is still lashing out. I remember my son when this heavy rain drums my rooftop, as if someone is opening the locked gate and knocking at the front door. It is not right to write that a living soul has no communication with the soul of the dead.

I hear his songs from a cassette on this rainy night. I am trying to retrieve a lost wave with this tape recorder. The good earth is getting filled with songs till now unheard by me, this crude man. My son is standing outside, drenched in rain.

I still have no answer to the question of whether or not I feel vengeance. But I leave a question to the world: why are you making my innocent child stand in the rain even after his death?......

Beware comrades !!

There is a scoundrel who roams around as a Democratic (offcourse secular) "leader". This scoundrel was directly responsible for many of the atrocities committed during Emergency and many miseries in last few decades. The supine incompetent leaders of Congress in the state (kerala) helped him (and his uncouth son) to thrive in last few years. He survives through groupism, with equally corrupt and other opportunists and also using money power. People find him disgusting. Some small timers call him "leader" but he is always is: Karunakaran. At the age of 87 this scoundrel should be doing something else (compare him with Nelson Mandela who is also 87!!). He and his cronies are making mockery of democracy whereas those who rose to protect democracy and values associates with freedom, particularly naxalites of that era (1970s) languish an unacknowledged scarred life, traumatized by horrifying memory-many have suicided, physically debilitated. I happen to see two documentaries recently one by Ananth Patwardhan's Prisoners Of Conscience (made in 1978) as also Lest We Forget (a recent Malayalam documentary by E.K.Santha). These documentaries are about the dark times in the history of independent India, about some spectacular people who rose to fight the injustice. Ironically the perpetrators of atrocities are now usurping democracy and values associated with it. Karunakaran's hands are covered in the blood of Rajan (an Engineering student who was tortured and killed by the state. Shaji Karun's Piravi a brilliant Malayalam movie is relevant in this context) and others; ineffective law machinery is the reason why these people like Karunakaran are not inside jail (anyway which politician is ever prosecuted, that speaks lot about law machinery particularly judiciary.....such incompetence). What I could gather from recent happening is that this scoundrel seems to positioning himself to take the credit of "defeat" of Congress in the State. This assumption offcourse an insult on people of Kerala. The Communist party seems to be gleefully accepting and degrading itself in the process. Rather than faltering, the comrades are asked to come out strongly. If you dare to tarnish the memory of Rajan and others for short-term gains and lusts of power (ideally Panchayat elections should be non political) then be prepared to face the consequences. Concerns arises from hard-core realities it shouldn't be reduced to a farce. It is important that the reality of the nation and its history is not lost in the world of media savvy positioners and the worldview they churn. The reality these days seem to be getting more virtual in the din of glamour. History rarely forgets and the question it asks need be the answer for future.
These lines as a tribute to Rajan and others who gave up everything for the cause of freedom during the dark bleak hours of independent India. Their sacrifice is not and will never be forgotten.......

Then there was a pause
the counting stopped
everything spruced up for another sequel
for an audience of bereaved time.
Pause again,
a space for gasps to articulate
some orphaned screams
before they find another reason
for mistakes of knifes on flesh
of bullets on skulls.

Another pause......

Hello bloggers

Thanks for the overwhelming response although the number of visits is jammed at 635 for a month or so, I have learned from a reliable source that the number of people visiting this blog has crossed 10,000 or so, that too few months back!!. Now that calls for celebration!!.
Lets start with short stories for a change….fiction is a welcome option from bomb filled reality. I have few short stories that I have written in last decade or so. I intend to publish them in this blog. Since it needs to be typed …now that is quite laborious and costly!! So I intend to type in at least one short story a month from the stock I have. So keep your eyes open ……and yes tell as many people as possible about this blog. You will not be disappointed. Bet on that!!.
Here is a story titled "The Question" i wrote nearly an year back, in response to an incident while conducting mock interviews (thats my job, in case bloggers want to know).

A Short Story...

The Question

One of the most profound moments in Raman’s life happened when he least expected nor did he realize at that instance. One evening as he was strolling in the street, he stumbled upon a protruding slab on the pavement. As he rushed on to an oncoming pedestrian, who sprang away like an antelope spotting a predator, through the shooting pain in the ankle Raman’s mind flashed back into an event that happened some years back. An interviewer on the far end of the panel where he had applied for a job asked him as an after thought, where others had wound up in resignation. “Where do you see yourself twenty years from now?”. Since he took time to respond the interviewer was agitated. So he said “let me reframe the question for you. What is the aim in your life?”. He emphasized the word “you”. Raman thought it was very funny so he attempted a smile but what he recollected instead was that he mumbled something and later echoes of laughter of the panel. These very words stared him as he hit the concrete. With the help of the passerby he made an attempt to stand up. He realized he was not able to stabilize his weight on the injured leg. All the while the question “Where do you see yourself twenty years from now?” reverberating in his mind. A passerby-an elderly man enquired his well being while Raman caught his own reflection on the window of the parked vehicle. He dragged himself nearer and studied the man’s image-which was fading almost a silhouette in the dimming light of the dusk- very carefully, who stood there uncertainly later moving away. Raman looked up and read the hoarding of the adjoining shop: R.K. Stores- goods once sold will not be taken back. He approached the shop and asked “Do you have something by which things can be tied together?”.
“You mean a rope?” asked the man at the counter all the while wiping the dust off the glass table. Raman’s attention was zeroed on to the man’s fingernail concluding that he is malnourished he limped away. Then he stopped abruptly and turned back and asked “Where do you see me not twenty but forty years from now?”. There was defiance in his voice. The moment he said this he felt the voice not from him. It was as if the question was asking itself a question. Suddenly a Figure in suit emerged from the words he spoke and rushed out. The figure gave a quick glance adjusted his tie in irritation as if to say “Oh now you have disturbed me. Don’t repeat it” and walked away briskly into the crowd. Raman decided to follow him. The footsteps of the figure were long and assured; he found difficulty in keeping pace. “Bastard wait till I catch you” thought Raman. The Figure meanwhile scurried into the elevator of the mall headed towards a fast food joint and ordered a big sized burger. Raman caught up and found a vacant space next to him. He noticed that the Figure was already half way through his meal, the content spilling from the corner of his mouth, which he hurriedly mopped up. His features sharp and accurate to the point of unreal. His action immediate almost predetermined. Before Raman could frame an appropriate question and wait for an occasion to ask, the Figure was already on his way out. Raman chose to give up on him. The place was unusually crowded for a working day most seemed to be students “otherwise why will they be wearing same dress?” Raman deduced. The waiter approached him “It’s self service here. You can order at that counter and pay”.
“Am I allowed to leave after I eat?” asked Raman.
“Can’t say. I have to ask the manager if there is any new scheme.” Informed the waiter and strode to the next table. Outside it started to rain as immediately it stopped. The path had become muddy due to dug up earth and half completed building. “That will be the tallest building ever” thought Raman as he looked up, his face crinkling under the sun. Quite unexpectedly he saw the Figure stepping out of the multistorey. “This time I will not leave you. You scoundrel”. Raman raced towards him; he realized his ankle still hurt. The Figure took no notice of him and was slanting on the car with one leg perched on stack of broken bricks. The car red in color shone brightly in the noon sun. The Figure tapped his lips with a pen, corrected the spectacles and nodded his head as if catching the subtleties on what he read. There was something peculiar about the car but Raman couldn’t place it. The Figure moved towards the door, opened it and struggled into the car. Raman noticed that the Figure no longer carried the agility he saw earlier. His movements were labored. “You need to take proper diet. Too much work load maybe” Raman wanted to say. His car swirled, slid a bit narrowly missing Raman and sped away. It seemed he was compensating on what he lost in his physical self by driving the vehicle faster. It could be also that he was running away from something. “It couldn’t be me. I never bothered him” argued Raman. Presently he heard a voice. “Which is the way to the theater?” asked the man.
“It is not very far. Go straight turn right on the second cut. But they don’t show movies any longer. It was closed five years back”.
“But I don’t want to see any movie” insisted the man and was so repulsed by what Raman said that he decided to walk in the opposite direction.
“That is a crazy thing to do” thought Raman and shrugged his shoulder. He felt ankle to be much better. Next day as he was on the way to someplace he again saw the Figure. This time the man was in a jewelers shop. He had substantially aged. There was a young woman with him who animatedly gesticulated suddenly pealing into laughter as he measured a necklace on her. Raman stood there with his fingers across his face, which later he recollected gave him an intellectual bearing like Nehru he saw in history books. By the time Raman chose whether to trail, the Figure had already vanished. Raman spent next few minutes studying the jewel kept for display. In the meantime Raman also decided that next time he would pursue the Figure with more determination. Being Monday the market was sparse and most shops were closed having catered to the rush of the holiday crowd. Raman decided to walk towards the main avenue. A man grabbed his arm and demanded him to buy a heap of kerchief. “You buy three you get one free” he informed. Instead of shrugging him off Raman held his wrist and said, “Let me tell you a story”.
“Alright first let go my hand” demanded the man and wiped a spot, sat down lighted a beedi and asked, “Is it a filmi story?”.
“No it is as real as the building you see” said Raman pointing to a skyscraper to assert himself. “Once upon a time there was a man who was a witness. He witnessed all the happenings but people asked him about future. The man knew that whatever happened will keep happening…”
“What you mean by that?” interrupted the man.
“The drought, war, flood…death keep coming as in past. Don’t you agree?” asked Raman.
“Yes. Yes I agree earthquake in my village caused more and more death I agree” the man was so excited he took random smoke. His beedi lit brightly. He had a doubt “But people ask for future of their own not others then why man told about people?”.
“The man could speak only of people. The moment he spoke about anyone he will go silent” clarified Raman.
“Then why did people come to ask about their future?” the man again interrupted.
“Because he kept quiet” replied Raman. “Now if you keep on interrupting me I will not tell the story” warned Raman.
“Oh I am sorry. It won’t happen again” assured the man.
“So the man kept quiet till one day he saw himself in the mirror” Raman went into thought mode as he considered how to proceed the story.
“Then what happened?”. He realized he had interrupted again “no I won’t do that again. Sorry. Sorry. You continue. Take your time”.
“No I will not continue you disturbed. The story is over”. Raman started to move. He was satisfied that he could keep someone attentive for a period.
The man seized his shoulder “well you won’t go without completing the story”. Raman’s foremost thought was that probably the man is hugging in appreciation of entertaining him but the hurting grip and ensuing threat cleared any doubts. Raman pushed the man on the chin that loosened the clutch giving him chance to slip away.
“I’ll will show next time you come this way” shouted the man climbing on the footing of the lamppost so as to get a clear view of the dash. Raman could hear him faintly very soon forgotten. But Raman couldn’t take his mind off the unfinished story. It clogged his head “ I have to finish this story otherwise it will kill me” he thought.
“Come on don’t think of it too much” whispered the passerby and advanced taking no notice of his presence.
“Excuse me did you say something to me?” asked Raman turning to him.
“No I didn’t” replied the man.
“Stories come and go. You don’t chase stories. They don’t kill. Do they?”
“Look you said something again. Didn’t you?”. Irritation showing in Raman’s vehemence.
“No I didn’t” maintained the man. His voice placid as if dead. He vanished. Raman found himself being pushed. “Give way”. He trampled into someone. The man was imbalanced and almost skids down. Raman gave his hand. The man steadied himself, kept his gaze down, muttered something and started to walk.
“Hey its you!” Raman recognized the Figure; now fumbling on his walking stick was ambling away.
“Hey you. I am talking to you” Raman shouted. There were some hushed conversation and meaningful glances. Few shopkeepers even craned from shops. “Is he deaf?”. A thought cruised Raman’s mind nevertheless he yelled again this time clapping to create an effect. People halted on their track everything was stilled and suddenly everyone was staring at Raman. One boy tugged his father “papa what is wrong with that man?” which even Raman heard. “Yah what is wrong with this man. He doesn’t listen”. Raman said these loudly for people to hear. Meanwhile the Figure had strolled some distance. The more Raman thought he advanced, the farther the Figure seemed to be moving. Apparently the Figure appeared to be tottering but for some inexplicable reason his pace was faster for Raman to catch up-who by now had started to run. After some time when Raman was exhausted of the chase and contemplating resigning he saw the Figure moving towards an isolated alley in the outskirts of the city, halting in front of a dilapidated house. As Raman gazed the house he felt it being transformed into a beautiful cottage with flower sprouting in the courtyard and all around, even on the place where he stood. When he walked onto the house it occurred to him that it was routine and so he started to whistle. As he reached the house he saw a woman who was so old that her skin hung on her body as if melted. Her face was faintly familiar but Raman couldn’t recognize her probably because he was seeing her after a long time. She attempted a smile but as soon she dissolved into the surrounding. Everything started to evaporate in Raman’s mind, he felt very light. He found himself in front of a huge decrepit door that peeled from all sides. He turned the rusty knob, the door opened with a creak. He stepped in. It was humid and reeked of rancid urine also a faint odor of room freshener, an attempt to contain the pungency.
“Come in I have been waiting for you”. A deep sonorous male voice said. It didn’t sound very inviting. The voice struggled to maintain its texture wherein it was clearly cracking and was followed by phlegmatic wheeze. Raman could make out an outline of someone sitting on a large slanting chair.
“Who are you?. How do you know me?” demanded Raman meanwhile trying to adapt himself to the surrounding.
“You know me. You will know me. You have been knowing me all along”. The voice reminded him of someone. Raman thought it was becoming friendly. “Open the window. I want some fresh air. It’s been years” ordered the voice. It didn’t sound as an order to Raman. He was more than happy to comply .So he did as was told. The window opened to the ocean, which surprised Raman immensely since the place was not located on a beach and he was expecting dirty streets, he even exclaimed. It was a clear bright day and Raman could see a catamaran wobbling in the horizon. “This is very strange” thought Raman.
“Nothing is strange. You are where you belong” said the voice with a hint of satisfaction. Raman could see the man now.
“Hey its you again”. Although Raman recognized the Figure he realized that like the old woman whom he saw outside he too looked very familiar but was so wizened that it was difficult to recognize except for the eyes, which were lively and exuded warmth. There was something about the man than a mere acquaintance- a Figure he has been trailing without any purpose- he revived memories too personal. The more he tried to ruminate the more he seemed to know him for ages.
“You want to ask something?” questioned the Figure.
“I have been thinking….no nothing” Raman stopped his sentence hastily. He sensed his head whirling and his whole body being pulled as he gripped on to something. When everything quietened he was seated on the chair facing the ocean. He felt a sudden chill so he got up to close the window. His knees ached. He fumbled for his walking stick, not finding he gave a loud curse.