The Question
One of the most profound moments in Raman’s life happened when he least expected nor did he realize at that instance. One evening as he was strolling in the street, he stumbled upon a protruding slab on the pavement. As he rushed on to an oncoming pedestrian, who sprang away like an antelope spotting a predator, through the shooting pain in the ankle Raman’s mind flashed back into an event that happened some years back. An interviewer on the far end of the panel where he had applied for a job asked him as an after thought, where others had wound up in resignation. “Where do you see yourself twenty years from now?”. Since he took time to respond the interviewer was agitated. So he said “let me reframe the question for you. What is the aim in your life?”. He emphasized the word “you”. Raman thought it was very funny so he attempted a smile but what he recollected instead was that he mumbled something and later echoes of laughter of the panel. These very words stared him as he hit the concrete. With the help of the passerby he made an attempt to stand up. He realized he was not able to stabilize his weight on the injured leg. All the while the question “Where do you see yourself twenty years from now?” reverberating in his mind. A passerby-an elderly man enquired his well being while Raman caught his own reflection on the window of the parked vehicle. He dragged himself nearer and studied the man’s image-which was fading almost a silhouette in the dimming light of the dusk- very carefully, who stood there uncertainly later moving away. Raman looked up and read the hoarding of the adjoining shop: R.K. Stores- goods once sold will not be taken back. He approached the shop and asked “Do you have something by which things can be tied together?”.
“You mean a rope?” asked the man at the counter all the while wiping the dust off the glass table. Raman’s attention was zeroed on to the man’s fingernail concluding that he is malnourished he limped away. Then he stopped abruptly and turned back and asked “Where do you see me not twenty but forty years from now?”. There was defiance in his voice. The moment he said this he felt the voice not from him. It was as if the question was asking itself a question. Suddenly a Figure in suit emerged from the words he spoke and rushed out. The figure gave a quick glance adjusted his tie in irritation as if to say “Oh now you have disturbed me. Don’t repeat it” and walked away briskly into the crowd. Raman decided to follow him. The footsteps of the figure were long and assured; he found difficulty in keeping pace. “Bastard wait till I catch you” thought Raman. The Figure meanwhile scurried into the elevator of the mall headed towards a fast food joint and ordered a big sized burger. Raman caught up and found a vacant space next to him. He noticed that the Figure was already half way through his meal, the content spilling from the corner of his mouth, which he hurriedly mopped up. His features sharp and accurate to the point of unreal. His action immediate almost predetermined. Before Raman could frame an appropriate question and wait for an occasion to ask, the Figure was already on his way out. Raman chose to give up on him. The place was unusually crowded for a working day most seemed to be students “otherwise why will they be wearing same dress?” Raman deduced. The waiter approached him “It’s self service here. You can order at that counter and pay”.
“Am I allowed to leave after I eat?” asked Raman.
“Can’t say. I have to ask the manager if there is any new scheme.” Informed the waiter and strode to the next table. Outside it started to rain as immediately it stopped. The path had become muddy due to dug up earth and half completed building. “That will be the tallest building ever” thought Raman as he looked up, his face crinkling under the sun. Quite unexpectedly he saw the Figure stepping out of the multistorey. “This time I will not leave you. You scoundrel”. Raman raced towards him; he realized his ankle still hurt. The Figure took no notice of him and was slanting on the car with one leg perched on stack of broken bricks. The car red in color shone brightly in the noon sun. The Figure tapped his lips with a pen, corrected the spectacles and nodded his head as if catching the subtleties on what he read. There was something peculiar about the car but Raman couldn’t place it. The Figure moved towards the door, opened it and struggled into the car. Raman noticed that the Figure no longer carried the agility he saw earlier. His movements were labored. “You need to take proper diet. Too much work load maybe” Raman wanted to say. His car swirled, slid a bit narrowly missing Raman and sped away. It seemed he was compensating on what he lost in his physical self by driving the vehicle faster. It could be also that he was running away from something. “It couldn’t be me. I never bothered him” argued Raman. Presently he heard a voice. “Which is the way to the theater?” asked the man.
“It is not very far. Go straight turn right on the second cut. But they don’t show movies any longer. It was closed five years back”.
“But I don’t want to see any movie” insisted the man and was so repulsed by what Raman said that he decided to walk in the opposite direction.
“That is a crazy thing to do” thought Raman and shrugged his shoulder. He felt ankle to be much better. Next day as he was on the way to someplace he again saw the Figure. This time the man was in a jewelers shop. He had substantially aged. There was a young woman with him who animatedly gesticulated suddenly pealing into laughter as he measured a necklace on her. Raman stood there with his fingers across his face, which later he recollected gave him an intellectual bearing like Nehru he saw in history books. By the time Raman chose whether to trail, the Figure had already vanished. Raman spent next few minutes studying the jewel kept for display. In the meantime Raman also decided that next time he would pursue the Figure with more determination. Being Monday the market was sparse and most shops were closed having catered to the rush of the holiday crowd. Raman decided to walk towards the main avenue. A man grabbed his arm and demanded him to buy a heap of kerchief. “You buy three you get one free” he informed. Instead of shrugging him off Raman held his wrist and said, “Let me tell you a story”.
“Alright first let go my hand” demanded the man and wiped a spot, sat down lighted a beedi and asked, “Is it a filmi story?”.
“No it is as real as the building you see” said Raman pointing to a skyscraper to assert himself. “Once upon a time there was a man who was a witness. He witnessed all the happenings but people asked him about future. The man knew that whatever happened will keep happening…”
“What you mean by that?” interrupted the man.
“The drought, war, flood…death keep coming as in past. Don’t you agree?” asked Raman.
“Yes. Yes I agree earthquake in my village caused more and more death I agree” the man was so excited he took random smoke. His beedi lit brightly. He had a doubt “But people ask for future of their own not others then why man told about people?”.
“The man could speak only of people. The moment he spoke about anyone he will go silent” clarified Raman.
“Then why did people come to ask about their future?” the man again interrupted.
“Because he kept quiet” replied Raman. “Now if you keep on interrupting me I will not tell the story” warned Raman.
“Oh I am sorry. It won’t happen again” assured the man.
“So the man kept quiet till one day he saw himself in the mirror” Raman went into thought mode as he considered how to proceed the story.
“Then what happened?”. He realized he had interrupted again “no I won’t do that again. Sorry. Sorry. You continue. Take your time”.
“No I will not continue you disturbed. The story is over”. Raman started to move. He was satisfied that he could keep someone attentive for a period.
The man seized his shoulder “well you won’t go without completing the story”. Raman’s foremost thought was that probably the man is hugging in appreciation of entertaining him but the hurting grip and ensuing threat cleared any doubts. Raman pushed the man on the chin that loosened the clutch giving him chance to slip away.
“I’ll will show next time you come this way” shouted the man climbing on the footing of the lamppost so as to get a clear view of the dash. Raman could hear him faintly very soon forgotten. But Raman couldn’t take his mind off the unfinished story. It clogged his head “ I have to finish this story otherwise it will kill me” he thought.
“Come on don’t think of it too much” whispered the passerby and advanced taking no notice of his presence.
“Excuse me did you say something to me?” asked Raman turning to him.
“No I didn’t” replied the man.
“Stories come and go. You don’t chase stories. They don’t kill. Do they?”
“Look you said something again. Didn’t you?”. Irritation showing in Raman’s vehemence.
“No I didn’t” maintained the man. His voice placid as if dead. He vanished. Raman found himself being pushed. “Give way”. He trampled into someone. The man was imbalanced and almost skids down. Raman gave his hand. The man steadied himself, kept his gaze down, muttered something and started to walk.
“Hey its you!” Raman recognized the Figure; now fumbling on his walking stick was ambling away.
“Hey you. I am talking to you” Raman shouted. There were some hushed conversation and meaningful glances. Few shopkeepers even craned from shops. “Is he deaf?”. A thought cruised Raman’s mind nevertheless he yelled again this time clapping to create an effect. People halted on their track everything was stilled and suddenly everyone was staring at Raman. One boy tugged his father “papa what is wrong with that man?” which even Raman heard. “Yah what is wrong with this man. He doesn’t listen”. Raman said these loudly for people to hear. Meanwhile the Figure had strolled some distance. The more Raman thought he advanced, the farther the Figure seemed to be moving. Apparently the Figure appeared to be tottering but for some inexplicable reason his pace was faster for Raman to catch up-who by now had started to run. After some time when Raman was exhausted of the chase and contemplating resigning he saw the Figure moving towards an isolated alley in the outskirts of the city, halting in front of a dilapidated house. As Raman gazed the house he felt it being transformed into a beautiful cottage with flower sprouting in the courtyard and all around, even on the place where he stood. When he walked onto the house it occurred to him that it was routine and so he started to whistle. As he reached the house he saw a woman who was so old that her skin hung on her body as if melted. Her face was faintly familiar but Raman couldn’t recognize her probably because he was seeing her after a long time. She attempted a smile but as soon she dissolved into the surrounding. Everything started to evaporate in Raman’s mind, he felt very light. He found himself in front of a huge decrepit door that peeled from all sides. He turned the rusty knob, the door opened with a creak. He stepped in. It was humid and reeked of rancid urine also a faint odor of room freshener, an attempt to contain the pungency.
“Come in I have been waiting for you”. A deep sonorous male voice said. It didn’t sound very inviting. The voice struggled to maintain its texture wherein it was clearly cracking and was followed by phlegmatic wheeze. Raman could make out an outline of someone sitting on a large slanting chair.
“Who are you?. How do you know me?” demanded Raman meanwhile trying to adapt himself to the surrounding.
“You know me. You will know me. You have been knowing me all along”. The voice reminded him of someone. Raman thought it was becoming friendly. “Open the window. I want some fresh air. It’s been years” ordered the voice. It didn’t sound as an order to Raman. He was more than happy to comply .So he did as was told. The window opened to the ocean, which surprised Raman immensely since the place was not located on a beach and he was expecting dirty streets, he even exclaimed. It was a clear bright day and Raman could see a catamaran wobbling in the horizon. “This is very strange” thought Raman.
“Nothing is strange. You are where you belong” said the voice with a hint of satisfaction. Raman could see the man now.
“Hey its you again”. Although Raman recognized the Figure he realized that like the old woman whom he saw outside he too looked very familiar but was so wizened that it was difficult to recognize except for the eyes, which were lively and exuded warmth. There was something about the man than a mere acquaintance- a Figure he has been trailing without any purpose- he revived memories too personal. The more he tried to ruminate the more he seemed to know him for ages.
“You want to ask something?” questioned the Figure.
“I have been thinking….no nothing” Raman stopped his sentence hastily. He sensed his head whirling and his whole body being pulled as he gripped on to something. When everything quietened he was seated on the chair facing the ocean. He felt a sudden chill so he got up to close the window. His knees ached. He fumbled for his walking stick, not finding he gave a loud curse.
“You mean a rope?” asked the man at the counter all the while wiping the dust off the glass table. Raman’s attention was zeroed on to the man’s fingernail concluding that he is malnourished he limped away. Then he stopped abruptly and turned back and asked “Where do you see me not twenty but forty years from now?”. There was defiance in his voice. The moment he said this he felt the voice not from him. It was as if the question was asking itself a question. Suddenly a Figure in suit emerged from the words he spoke and rushed out. The figure gave a quick glance adjusted his tie in irritation as if to say “Oh now you have disturbed me. Don’t repeat it” and walked away briskly into the crowd. Raman decided to follow him. The footsteps of the figure were long and assured; he found difficulty in keeping pace. “Bastard wait till I catch you” thought Raman. The Figure meanwhile scurried into the elevator of the mall headed towards a fast food joint and ordered a big sized burger. Raman caught up and found a vacant space next to him. He noticed that the Figure was already half way through his meal, the content spilling from the corner of his mouth, which he hurriedly mopped up. His features sharp and accurate to the point of unreal. His action immediate almost predetermined. Before Raman could frame an appropriate question and wait for an occasion to ask, the Figure was already on his way out. Raman chose to give up on him. The place was unusually crowded for a working day most seemed to be students “otherwise why will they be wearing same dress?” Raman deduced. The waiter approached him “It’s self service here. You can order at that counter and pay”.
“Am I allowed to leave after I eat?” asked Raman.
“Can’t say. I have to ask the manager if there is any new scheme.” Informed the waiter and strode to the next table. Outside it started to rain as immediately it stopped. The path had become muddy due to dug up earth and half completed building. “That will be the tallest building ever” thought Raman as he looked up, his face crinkling under the sun. Quite unexpectedly he saw the Figure stepping out of the multistorey. “This time I will not leave you. You scoundrel”. Raman raced towards him; he realized his ankle still hurt. The Figure took no notice of him and was slanting on the car with one leg perched on stack of broken bricks. The car red in color shone brightly in the noon sun. The Figure tapped his lips with a pen, corrected the spectacles and nodded his head as if catching the subtleties on what he read. There was something peculiar about the car but Raman couldn’t place it. The Figure moved towards the door, opened it and struggled into the car. Raman noticed that the Figure no longer carried the agility he saw earlier. His movements were labored. “You need to take proper diet. Too much work load maybe” Raman wanted to say. His car swirled, slid a bit narrowly missing Raman and sped away. It seemed he was compensating on what he lost in his physical self by driving the vehicle faster. It could be also that he was running away from something. “It couldn’t be me. I never bothered him” argued Raman. Presently he heard a voice. “Which is the way to the theater?” asked the man.
“It is not very far. Go straight turn right on the second cut. But they don’t show movies any longer. It was closed five years back”.
“But I don’t want to see any movie” insisted the man and was so repulsed by what Raman said that he decided to walk in the opposite direction.
“That is a crazy thing to do” thought Raman and shrugged his shoulder. He felt ankle to be much better. Next day as he was on the way to someplace he again saw the Figure. This time the man was in a jewelers shop. He had substantially aged. There was a young woman with him who animatedly gesticulated suddenly pealing into laughter as he measured a necklace on her. Raman stood there with his fingers across his face, which later he recollected gave him an intellectual bearing like Nehru he saw in history books. By the time Raman chose whether to trail, the Figure had already vanished. Raman spent next few minutes studying the jewel kept for display. In the meantime Raman also decided that next time he would pursue the Figure with more determination. Being Monday the market was sparse and most shops were closed having catered to the rush of the holiday crowd. Raman decided to walk towards the main avenue. A man grabbed his arm and demanded him to buy a heap of kerchief. “You buy three you get one free” he informed. Instead of shrugging him off Raman held his wrist and said, “Let me tell you a story”.
“Alright first let go my hand” demanded the man and wiped a spot, sat down lighted a beedi and asked, “Is it a filmi story?”.
“No it is as real as the building you see” said Raman pointing to a skyscraper to assert himself. “Once upon a time there was a man who was a witness. He witnessed all the happenings but people asked him about future. The man knew that whatever happened will keep happening…”
“What you mean by that?” interrupted the man.
“The drought, war, flood…death keep coming as in past. Don’t you agree?” asked Raman.
“Yes. Yes I agree earthquake in my village caused more and more death I agree” the man was so excited he took random smoke. His beedi lit brightly. He had a doubt “But people ask for future of their own not others then why man told about people?”.
“The man could speak only of people. The moment he spoke about anyone he will go silent” clarified Raman.
“Then why did people come to ask about their future?” the man again interrupted.
“Because he kept quiet” replied Raman. “Now if you keep on interrupting me I will not tell the story” warned Raman.
“Oh I am sorry. It won’t happen again” assured the man.
“So the man kept quiet till one day he saw himself in the mirror” Raman went into thought mode as he considered how to proceed the story.
“Then what happened?”. He realized he had interrupted again “no I won’t do that again. Sorry. Sorry. You continue. Take your time”.
“No I will not continue you disturbed. The story is over”. Raman started to move. He was satisfied that he could keep someone attentive for a period.
The man seized his shoulder “well you won’t go without completing the story”. Raman’s foremost thought was that probably the man is hugging in appreciation of entertaining him but the hurting grip and ensuing threat cleared any doubts. Raman pushed the man on the chin that loosened the clutch giving him chance to slip away.
“I’ll will show next time you come this way” shouted the man climbing on the footing of the lamppost so as to get a clear view of the dash. Raman could hear him faintly very soon forgotten. But Raman couldn’t take his mind off the unfinished story. It clogged his head “ I have to finish this story otherwise it will kill me” he thought.
“Come on don’t think of it too much” whispered the passerby and advanced taking no notice of his presence.
“Excuse me did you say something to me?” asked Raman turning to him.
“No I didn’t” replied the man.
“Stories come and go. You don’t chase stories. They don’t kill. Do they?”
“Look you said something again. Didn’t you?”. Irritation showing in Raman’s vehemence.
“No I didn’t” maintained the man. His voice placid as if dead. He vanished. Raman found himself being pushed. “Give way”. He trampled into someone. The man was imbalanced and almost skids down. Raman gave his hand. The man steadied himself, kept his gaze down, muttered something and started to walk.
“Hey its you!” Raman recognized the Figure; now fumbling on his walking stick was ambling away.
“Hey you. I am talking to you” Raman shouted. There were some hushed conversation and meaningful glances. Few shopkeepers even craned from shops. “Is he deaf?”. A thought cruised Raman’s mind nevertheless he yelled again this time clapping to create an effect. People halted on their track everything was stilled and suddenly everyone was staring at Raman. One boy tugged his father “papa what is wrong with that man?” which even Raman heard. “Yah what is wrong with this man. He doesn’t listen”. Raman said these loudly for people to hear. Meanwhile the Figure had strolled some distance. The more Raman thought he advanced, the farther the Figure seemed to be moving. Apparently the Figure appeared to be tottering but for some inexplicable reason his pace was faster for Raman to catch up-who by now had started to run. After some time when Raman was exhausted of the chase and contemplating resigning he saw the Figure moving towards an isolated alley in the outskirts of the city, halting in front of a dilapidated house. As Raman gazed the house he felt it being transformed into a beautiful cottage with flower sprouting in the courtyard and all around, even on the place where he stood. When he walked onto the house it occurred to him that it was routine and so he started to whistle. As he reached the house he saw a woman who was so old that her skin hung on her body as if melted. Her face was faintly familiar but Raman couldn’t recognize her probably because he was seeing her after a long time. She attempted a smile but as soon she dissolved into the surrounding. Everything started to evaporate in Raman’s mind, he felt very light. He found himself in front of a huge decrepit door that peeled from all sides. He turned the rusty knob, the door opened with a creak. He stepped in. It was humid and reeked of rancid urine also a faint odor of room freshener, an attempt to contain the pungency.
“Come in I have been waiting for you”. A deep sonorous male voice said. It didn’t sound very inviting. The voice struggled to maintain its texture wherein it was clearly cracking and was followed by phlegmatic wheeze. Raman could make out an outline of someone sitting on a large slanting chair.
“Who are you?. How do you know me?” demanded Raman meanwhile trying to adapt himself to the surrounding.
“You know me. You will know me. You have been knowing me all along”. The voice reminded him of someone. Raman thought it was becoming friendly. “Open the window. I want some fresh air. It’s been years” ordered the voice. It didn’t sound as an order to Raman. He was more than happy to comply .So he did as was told. The window opened to the ocean, which surprised Raman immensely since the place was not located on a beach and he was expecting dirty streets, he even exclaimed. It was a clear bright day and Raman could see a catamaran wobbling in the horizon. “This is very strange” thought Raman.
“Nothing is strange. You are where you belong” said the voice with a hint of satisfaction. Raman could see the man now.
“Hey its you again”. Although Raman recognized the Figure he realized that like the old woman whom he saw outside he too looked very familiar but was so wizened that it was difficult to recognize except for the eyes, which were lively and exuded warmth. There was something about the man than a mere acquaintance- a Figure he has been trailing without any purpose- he revived memories too personal. The more he tried to ruminate the more he seemed to know him for ages.
“You want to ask something?” questioned the Figure.
“I have been thinking….no nothing” Raman stopped his sentence hastily. He sensed his head whirling and his whole body being pulled as he gripped on to something. When everything quietened he was seated on the chair facing the ocean. He felt a sudden chill so he got up to close the window. His knees ached. He fumbled for his walking stick, not finding he gave a loud curse.
