“When you are old as me don’t forget what you have seen where you go. Be observant child. You will have to carry all that you see”
Mother had the habit of saying things that nobody understood and when least expected. Like when I am having food and ask for water or while looking for shirt to wear after bath. She spoke as if she was continuing a conversation with someone left unfinished. It was as if a different world lived in her that sneaked out occasionally. Her face became gentle as I have never seen before, her face creased of all worries, she lower her eyes in a benign way towards me and gently put her hand on my head, caress my hair. Even at that tender age I knew somehow that I have to be attentive, a strange sensation drew my body still. She would go silent for a long time but I wouldn’t move I wait transfixed as if this is what was expected of me. Sometimes I did wonder where is the world from which these words come?. Is it a world different from this world?. Are there people who whisper her these?. I did feel the silence that envelope me on these occasions. Something entering me from her, filling me and growing roots under my feet. In that serene face I saw millions of faces splitting and vanishing before it grows dark into dot. Then as if awakened from some trance she shook herself, push me and say “What you still here?. Haven’t you got anything to study?. Next time you bring low marks in the exam I will show you”. I run away and sit under the tree. The sky was always bright blue.
Mother had the habit of saying things that nobody understood and when least expected. Like when I am having food and ask for water or while looking for shirt to wear after bath. She spoke as if she was continuing a conversation with someone left unfinished. It was as if a different world lived in her that sneaked out occasionally. Her face became gentle as I have never seen before, her face creased of all worries, she lower her eyes in a benign way towards me and gently put her hand on my head, caress my hair. Even at that tender age I knew somehow that I have to be attentive, a strange sensation drew my body still. She would go silent for a long time but I wouldn’t move I wait transfixed as if this is what was expected of me. Sometimes I did wonder where is the world from which these words come?. Is it a world different from this world?. Are there people who whisper her these?. I did feel the silence that envelope me on these occasions. Something entering me from her, filling me and growing roots under my feet. In that serene face I saw millions of faces splitting and vanishing before it grows dark into dot. Then as if awakened from some trance she shook herself, push me and say “What you still here?. Haven’t you got anything to study?. Next time you bring low marks in the exam I will show you”. I run away and sit under the tree. The sky was always bright blue.
Post script: many years back I scribbled something that I titled as “Night whispers and Butterfly dreams”. It was intermittent and spanned probably from 1998-2002. Few days back I found this script in my box, something churns in me when I read it and get into that zone where I have to scribble something. The above happened almost instantaneously. I would to love put the whole copy in the blog but terribly lazy…I dedicate the above scribble to a helpful elderly woman I came across in the market the other day (just like the Chekhov story!!). Frankly these are the kinds of things that give me meanings and fuel to move!!
